Top Ten Ways to Turn the 'Soft' Raptors to Toughies

10. Get Miami Heat's Johnson to be Bargani's buddy/teammate.

9. Replace Raptors' drink from Gatorade to Tabasco's hot sauce.




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8. Hire ex-Raptors tough guys Charles Oakley, Chris Childs, Kevin Willis and Vince Carter. Oops.. Definitely not VC.

7. Instead of coach Sam Mitchell and his staff wearing suits, they must wear macho attire.

6. Inject 'Forderon' with HGH and steroids.

5. Replace Dino mascot with Godzilla.


4. Use Edwin Starr's "War" as intro music and use roadside bomb as used in Afghanistan as fireworks.

3. Hire American Idol's Simon Cowell as the Raptor's PA announcer. Every Raptor will make sure not to play lousy or else Simon will call them out.


2. Promise the Raptor's starting lineup that they will be in Charles Barkley's fave five if they will play tough.

And the number 1 way to make the 'soft' Raptors tough is to let every Raptor wear a Hannibal Lecter mask.