Tuesday, February 20

A Message To Chris Bosh , Superstar ?

Mr. Chris Bosh ,

Congratulations for your participation in the recently concluded NBA All Star game . I am sure that the experience of being a starter in this year's All Star was very satisfying for someone as young a baller like you. There's just one thing that caught my virgin mind in last Sunday's game. The part where you did the windmill dunk .What the hell were you thinking that made you to do that ugly looking dunk ? Aha , I know you thought you had to keep up with the stars in the East squad like LBJ , DWade , Dwight Howard and even former Raptor , VC . Bad idea. These guys are artistic dunkers . Dunks come to them naturally with the minimum of efforts. I cringed looking at you contort your body . I remember what ex Celtics great Tom Heinsohn said after seeing you do a body contorting dunk in one Raptors-Celtics game this season .' That dunk was all bones and everything '. That's a diplomatic way of saying , the dunk sucks ! It kinda reminds one of the praying mantis . The praying mantis' moves are good to imitate in kung fu but in basketball , it's moves do not stand a prayer !
I know how much pressure it was for you to be included in the young group that also includes Carmelo Anthony aside from the 3 guys first mentioned above . You will if you perform creditibly in events like this , the World Championship and the Olympics where the best of the best are present. But my bosh , I mean my gosh , scoring zero in the 1st half of an All Star game and running back and forth like Hoffa won't do it . I am sure it gave you a flashback of your summer in Japan where you said something like this ' If I knew it was going to be like this, I would have not joined Team, USA.' Why do you think the others don't respect your game ? You are a maximum paid player like those guys right ? I'm sure that sometimes you feel like President Bush . Make that President Bosh . So unpopular except to his supporters from the right in case of Bush and for you , fans from the north and the Toronto media.
Chuck Swirsky of Raptors TV , that uber homer who might as well be named Chuck H. Swirsky , said in his radio show yeasterday that you are not the type of baller who seeks the limelight . A silent operator I suppose .Maybe you are .That's why you were hiding behind the backs of LBJ , Shaq and D Wade during fastbreaks and was afraid to ask for the ball. Someone said it's because it's only your 2nd time participating in the All Star game . Tell that to first timers Dwight H. and 'Melo , I answered. I think it's because you believed all the hype made by the Toronto media. I warn you , those dudes will build you up and once you showed any signs that they perceive to be signs of disloyalty to the team , they will tear you apart . They will say that you are an ingrate , a cash hoarding American and even a rejector of the Canadian way of life . And the gullible fans will start to boo you . You know what will come next . Ask VC , T Mac , AD and even a short time member of the Raptors , Mike James.
What you need to do Mr. Bosh is to lead the Raptors deep into the playoffs . Just the playoffs not Iraq. I dont think the Bush-Bosh combo can lead the troops out of Iraq . And this move to the playoff you do by just playing your kind of game . A boring kind of game . Remember , you are the anti Vince that everyone in TO wants you to be . Not only in character but in play . Drop those jaw dropping dunks . You can't be a Vince no matter how hard you try. Bosh is boring and boring is good . Tim Duncan is boring but he won several NBA championships.

Sincerely ,

Coach

4 Comments:

Blogger Nat said...

*SPEECHLESS* ... I'll comment again when i read this at a more normal (its 5 am) hour of day

5:14 AM  
Blogger john said...

It's a great piece of advice to Bosh. The business world has the same advice to companies wishing to expand - stick to knitting . Great.

9:27 AM  
Blogger Foto Man said...

I don't believe that CB4is boring . Not at all .He played the Bulls big mem lately and made a mincemeat out of them . Bosh can do it all - jump shot , dunk , circus shot - everything .

2:50 PM  
Blogger pm said...

It's brutal of you to compare Bosh to Bush. Bush is an upcoming star , the latter is hopeless. Funny post !

4:23 PM  

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