Friday, April 18

Top 10 Reasons Why The Raptors Will Bow To The Magic In Their Playoff Series !

No. 10 Rasho will stop doing the Happy Dance routine , credited for his awesome games lately , starting this playoff series with the Magic. Rasho will go back to his old self - sucky !

No. 9 Chris Bosh will hurt his arm egging the dead Raptors fans in the ACC to cheer for the team...again. Bosh will suffer from plantar armitiis .

No. 8 Maple Leaf Sports And Entertainment's Richard Peddie will force Sam Mitchell to finish the series in 4 games so that he can concentrate in rebuilding the more loved Maple Leafs' hockey club .What way to insure an early finish than to be swept by the Magic ! Welcome to the Hockey mad and Weird Canada.

No. 7 Sam will try to get into the good grace of the Magic's owner and Amway founder Robert DeVos in case Bryan Colangelo fires Sam after the end of the season. Sam thought that Amway is an airline Company !

No. 6 The Raps' fans will be jinx by the presence of the hated and Orlando native Vince Carter . They will will shout 'VC sucks ' all series long forgetting the Magic players who will play awesomeball undisturbed.

No. 6 Coach Stan Van Gundy will do his best to coach the Magic to victory because there is a rumor that Pat Riley will replace him again if he faltered.

No. 5 The Magic will declare all Torontonians persona non grata if the Raptors beat the Magic . That means , No Disney vacations ......only trips to Ontario's sucky Wonderland !

No. 4 Anthony Parker will dislocate his shoulder three times purposely to match sis Candice, the better Parker , who led his school's NCAA team to victory despite a dislocating her shoulder twice. AP will break his shoulder instead the 3rd time.

No. 3 The Raptors' mascot will spike the Raptors' players drinks . It's appears that Dino made a secret pact with Disney execs that he will be included in the Mickey Mouse Club if the Magic wins.

No. 2 The 'small market' Toronto Raptors is bitter according to Barack Obama that's why they will just cling to relig.... each other instead of playing high quality basketball .

And the no. 1 reason why the Raptors will lose to the Magic is that the CB4' s girlfriend , Ms. CB4head will jeer Dwight Howard like she did .Just like LBJ , Dwight will punish the Raptors...only it's in all 4 games . Finito !


Blogger John said...

I've just post my version of the playoffs preview. Please check it out and let me have your comments....

7:57 AM  
Blogger john said...

Funny as always.You don't believe that the Raptors have no chance versus the Magic?

10:30 AM  

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