Marco Belinelli Is As Soft As Pasta .

Colangelo strikes again . Yup , another softie is with the Raps in the person of Marco Belinelli. A European and a true blooded paisano at that . The Belinelli who is coach Nellie's reject ! He who pretends to be a basketball player but is actually as fake as lipsynching Milli Vanilli ! Several summers ago , Marco Belinelli impressed every basketball fan when he shot the lights out of the arena with an impressive shooting in the summer league . Come the regular season , the Italian Stallion , so named because he looks like Slyvester Stallone , was as tame as Sylvester the cat spending a lot of time on the bench... napping . Well , something like that with his sleepy Stalloney eyes . Why do you think Marco Belinelli , the cat , found himself in Nellie's doghouse ? Because Marco Belinelli is a one dimensional basketball player ... not 3D . He has no defence (1) , no dedication to the game (2) and no discussion . An NBA player must keep himself in the pubic hair , I meant , public air . Look at Dennis Rodman . The Worm managed to stay in the limelight during his playing days by creating every oppotunity to bee talked about always . Stay relevant , Marco . Do something to capture the fans' attention . You should have dated the Warriors' #1 fan , Jessica Alba or suck up to # 1 taxpayer in SF and Oracle boss Ellison or be like your Prime Minister . Silvio Berlusconi . That dude can rock and roll with young chicks . Silvio is as hard as a rock while Marco is as soft as pasta . What do you expect from a GM named Bryan ColanJello , err ... I mean , Colangelo !

Kobe Picks Manny Pacquiao.

That is what NBA champion Kobe Bryant of the Lakers said when asked during the of press con at the start of Nike's tour of 6 Asian countries. So what is Kobe Bryan Colangelo waiting for ? In my last posting , I put forward the idea of the Raptors recruiting Filipino Manny Pacquiao to join the team. For equal representation and much needed toughness. If one look closely at nationalities of the fans of the team , half of them are Asians. A lot of Asian terrorists .. er .. I mean , Asian tourists , look forward to watching an NBA game when they are in Toronto . Considering Manny is a big hero all over Asia , his joining the Raps roster will result in the sprouting of TO Raptors fans clubs all over in Asia. From the boondocks of Mymmar to terrorist camps in southern Philippines. Why not ? The rebels in the Philippines reportedly stop fighting government forces whenever Manny has a fight . I can just see North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il , who is ill right now , shifting his allegiance to Manny from his long time idol Michael Jordan . Might be that the recently beaten Sri Lankan freedom fighters , the Tamil Tigers , will resurface as the Tamil Raptors . Bryan , just do it ! Everybody is doing it as you can see in the video.

Raptors Is Still A Soft Team !

That's the conclusion I made after looking at the lineup of the Toronto Raptors.....absolutely lacking in the toughness department. Despite BC's announcement that he will make the team lose its nice image , the Raps are still , well , nice. Let's look at the significant additions to the line up : Turkaglu is as soft as a Charmin tissue paper . Hedo was making `nice conversiations' with Kobe during the Finals . Maybe the 2 are talking about the Turkish bath they frequent . Fool . Obviously , Hedo is not aware of the Bill Russel technique that Kobe was using on him. Be nice to your enemies so that they will lose their edge. Hedo T. is really Shedo Turkaglu ! And this so called nasty guy Reggie Evans . Evans is what Bad Boy Oakley refers to as a tough guy wanna be . Evans whos claim to toughness was him grabbing Clip Kaman's nuts during a rebound play when he was still a member of the Denver Nuggets. He's like the Soprano character , Vito. , a homo gangster . Evans a baller who like balls ! Otherwise , why did he went nuts with another baller's nuts. Just look at the photo of Evans on the right . He is like a gay Taliban fighter ! Evans should join Richard Dick Jefferson in Paris. The other new Raptors are Davean 'Boy' George and Antoine 'To the Right To the' Wright . Complete sissies if you ask me. Homos . Homo sapiens !
BC should look at one of last night`s ESPY awardee . The recipient of the Best Fighter award , Manny Pacquiao. I know the pound for pound King of Boxing is a favorite of NBA players like Agent Zero, Dooling, David West, the Celtics Big 3 and others. Just google it . Pacman , the newest endorser of Nike to join Kobe and other sports superstars , would be pounding the ball instead of pounding the mitts if not for his tremendous success as a boxer . There you go BC . An Asian baller who is a certified tough guy . Just watch this video. Enjoy you homos !

Wanted : Asian Baller For The Raptors

I wonder why despite of the Raptors' continuing move of using international players , B Colangelo has not recruited an Asian baller . Oh I forgot . Foreign players mean European hoopters . Discrimination ? Look at the LA Lakers . They have a Chinese player . He is Sue Yue , a 6'9" PG called the Magic Johnson of China. Remember Yuta Tabuse the Michael Jordan of Japan ? The 5'9" PG suited up for the Phoenix Suns in the '04 season. Tabuse's NBA stint created super media attention in sports crazy Japan . Not as huge as baseball's Suzuki of the Mariners or Boston's Matsuzaka but huge nevertheless. This season , the Suns has another Japanese player , T. Kawamura , included in their summer league team. Wake up BC ! Not only Italians or pizza lovers are hoops followers. Even sushi eaters are fans of basketball . Just take a look at the exploding number of sushi restos now in TO . Sushi snack pack are even sold inside Air Canada . It will be a matter of time before the Raptors offer free sushis , instead of pizzas , if the team's score 100 points !
It will be wise for MLSE tap TO's growing Asian population . Even the Maple Leafs have their #1 draft pick this year who's parents are originally from Lebanon. For those who are not good in geography , the Middle East is part of Asia. The NBA's doormat , Memphis , has a 7 '2" giant from Iran , Ahmed Hadai , playing .. err.. warming their bench since last season. I'm not sure if Hadadi is called the something something of Iran . Maybe , the Rafael Araujo of Iran ! But I would zero in on the exploding Asian-Chinese immigrant population if I am BC. The number of Chinese owned malls in TO is testament to the purchasing power of this sector of the population. Yeah , I am all for that . BC needs to be Sinocentric instead of Eurocentric. Rather than adding to the team the Pacers' Jarrett Jack , get Jackie Chan instead. Then perhaps , if the score reaches 100 points , the Raps will give away free spring rolls ! yum , yum , yum .

Raptors Headlines

Last week proved to be an very interesting one for basketball lovers this side of the globe. Just look at what the writers wrote about what are happenning as far as the Raptors are concern ..and of course my reactions to the news :

1. Hoopshype : Jose Manuel Calderon : ' We are not that far away '.
Moi say : Si , senor Jose . Madrid is also.... not that far away from Toronto .

2. Toronto Star's Doug Smith : ' Toronto Factor ' seals the deal for new Raptor .
Moi say : What ? Not the $53 million that he will receive in 5 years !

3. Globe & Mail's Jeff Blair : Turgalou's signing should be celebrated
Moi say : Hooray ! Rejoice Raps fans ...we just won the NBA championship !

4. National Post's : Report : Turkoglou will join the Raptors
Moi say : ...and his wife will join Harper's Conservative party !

Breaking news... B.C. signs another European player to wear the red and black uniform of the Raptors. Who is this player ? Click here.

Pacers Becoming More White ; B.C.Turning White !

Larry Bird continues to recruit white leg horn players while cutting the bad and the ugly black ones i.e Tinsley and Daniels. His latest acquisition is Tyler Hansbrough, a ballplayer as white as snow. ' Hansbrough reminds me of myself ' said Larry Legend in the press conference introducing T.H.. Not really . You see , the Pacers' 1st round draft choice in this year's draft is the son of a Doctor while Larry is the son ... delivered by a Doctor. Stupid ! Larry meant playalike ! Of course. Tyler plays hard every game . Like Larry , everybody says that Tyler can't jump, is too slow and probadly don't know how to rap .With Tyler's addition, there are now 6 white players ,who are not members of the KKK , in the Pacers' lineup. Cool . Indiana has the most number of white players in one NBA team. There is Dunleavy , Murphy , Foster , Diener , Rasho , Mc Roberts and now Tyler ! Tsk,tsk. If Michael Jackson , who was from Indiana , opted to thrill us by playing basketball instead of moonwalking , the Pacers will be truly white !
Here in Toronto , B.C. is busy with his Europeanization of the Raptors' line up . Fresh addition to the team is Turkey's Hedo Turkoglu . One report said that Hedo chose TO because of its large immigrant population from Turkey . Hmm . Not sure about that . I know that there are gazilion turkeys and chickenshits from everywhere living in TO and not only from Turkey ! Desperate move by Colangelo ? Certainly . If the Raps failed to enter the post season play ... or even be in contention by Thanksgiving , his goose err ...his turkey is cooked. And I don't mean his Thanksgiving dinner !

New Media : Tweetum

I am really amaze at the number of people using Twitter . Everybody just about has a Twitter account. So after , My Space and Facebook , all of my friends are 'tweeting' madly. And of course , can the bloggers be far behind. All sportwriters and prominent basketball bloggers use Twitter to bring up to date news and rumors to their addicted followers. Kevin Love of the Timbaktu ... oops . the Timberwolves outscooped everybody by spilling the ouster of Wolves' coach Kevin McHale from his post. Ha,ha,ha .How 'bout that . Love made ESPN's Chad Ford et al look like runner ups in the marathon....several miles behind the winner in crossing the finish line !
This brings me to the point of my post today . I am inventing a new way of transmitting super breaking news . I am presenting ... Tweetum . It's the answer to Twitter which contains 50% unsubtantiated basketball rumors , just to tweet so to speak . Tweetum is different than Twitter in so many ways. Trust me .It kinda out tweet the original in every aspect of relaying basketball news. Just look at the samples of the tweetums from initial subscribers .

1. Joe Blowhard : Raptors' ready to sign Varejao to help collect rebounds . TO's Mayor Miller to sign him to collect garbage that accumulated due to the city strike .TWEETUM.COM

2. Rudy D' Gay : Colangelo signing Milsap as a back up to Evans . Evans hurt his hands in last week's Gay Pride parade.TWEETUM.COM

3. Comeback Kid : Toronto bringing back Delfino , Villanueva and Chuck Swirksky . Rookie De Rozan happy . He is sure of 1 vote in the ROY contest. TWEETUM.COM

4. Doggie Smith : Vince super happy that he's traded to championship caliber and hometown team Orlando Magic. Team Doctor not happy. TWEETUM.COM

5. The Lone Granger : BC busy with free agent signing this summer . BC also busy polishing his resume . TWEETUM.COM





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